The beginning of the journey

Hello all! With the help of my friend, Tami, I decided to start a blog as a way of journaling this incredible journey that God is taking me, my family, and all of us on. I really don't know anything about blogging, except that I so enjoyed following the Fellabaum's on their adoption journey to China through their blog!

This first entry will be long, as I am really trying to journal details for me and my family to look back on, for God has been in every little detail.

It started in February 2007. I got this pain in my side that would not go away. After a few days it was so bad that I knew I couldn't go to work. I had just started a new job in January, so after just a few weeks I was already calling in sick-how embarrassing! Thankfully, my new job was with a great chiropractor in town. I was mortified to be calling in sick, but he just said to make sure I still come in to get adjusted so we can get the pain taken care of! I also went to my regular doctor, who ordered all kinds of tests, one of which was a chest and abdomen CAT scan. At the time, I kind of thought he was going overboard but I'm a better safe than sorry kind of gal--and I have great insurance so why not! By the time the results of the scan were back the pain was gone but the reason for the pain was just beginning to be revealed. The scan showed a nodule (bump) on my thyroid. For those of you who don't know, the thyroid is located in your neck, not chest or abdomen, but it wasn't until much later that I realized that this was God allowing the pain in my side in order to discover the thyroid issue. You see, I had my thyroid levels checked several times and they were always completely normal. Dr. said that nodules are very normal in lots of women, doesn't really mean anything but we need to have an ultrasound of the thyroid. Ultrasound determined that biopsy was needed. Without realizing it, I kept putting off the biopsy. My friend, Tami, told me that it's an uncomfortable procedure but really not a big deal. I am a big baby, so the thought of something being stuck in my neck to extract tissue really grossed me out. And the fact that she said it was uncomfortable for her told me it was probably excruciating for us "normal" people. Eventually I did go have the biopsy--which was uncomfortable, not excruciating. I cried through the whole procedure anyway. Mostly because I was just grossed out at the thought of it, still am. The poor doctor thought he was killing me--he even gave me a sucker when he was done! I have to mention at this point that it is thanks to God prompting my mom to ask me why I keep putting off having it done. For whatever reason, that really got me thinking and praying about why it was that I was putting it off. Biopsy led to a nuclear uptake scan at the hospital, which determines if the nodule needs to be surgically removed or not--of course mine did because the test determined that malignancy could not be ruled out. I was assured that the chances are very very low and even if it was malignant it would be taken care of by removing 1/2 the thyroid. By this time I had already done a bunch of research and had a file of information, but I never really even gave a thought to the fact that it really could be malignant. I don't know if it was my defense mechanism or denial or what. It is now the end of August, 2007. Sidney and Reilly were going to start a new school, Roger had already started his tennis season--he coaches boys tennis @ Goodrich High School, where he also teaches, and I work 4 days a week. There is no time for the Mommy to have surgery! My endocrinologist did give me the okay to wait until November to have the surgery. So guess what I did over Thanksgiving break! The surgery included an overnight stay in a luxury suite at Genesys Hotel, I mean Hospital. I came home the day before Thanksgiving. The next day, my 3 sisters and mom brought over the full Thanksgiving extravaganza--and all I had to do was enjoy the food and being waited on! The surgery was to remove 1/2 my thyroid. During the surgery, they send the removed tissue to pathology and do what's called a frozen dissection. That determines if it looks malignant or not. If malignant they go ahead and take out the other 1/2 right then, if not they leave in the other 1/2. Mine looked good so they left the other 1/2. Duh--I already knew it wasn't going to be malignant! The tissue still gets sent out for further testing, though. They put on these clips to hold the skin together where the incision is (again, gross me out!). 5 days later I go in to the doctor's office to have those removed and make sure the incision is healing properly. Before I know it, the doctor is telling me that upon further testing, the tissue was determined to be malignant--papillary carcinoma to be exact--and I need to go in for surgery again to have the other 1/2 removed. Have you figured out yet that this option wasn't even anywhere in my thoughts, ever. So of course I was completely taken by surprise and in shock. I went to the appointment by myself because I thought he was going to look at the incision site and say how great it looked and send me on my way. Never once thought about getting any test results--it was already determined to be benign, I thought. I wasn't completely hysterical at the office, I actually held it together pretty well until I called Tami and said it out loud. I was driving at the time and had to pull over and park, actually. After we cried together, thankfully she kicked into action and gave me instructions and agreed to call whoever needed be called because I didn't want to or have the emotional capacity to do so. I remember telling Roger when he got out of class and he came right home, but now that I think of it, I can't remember how the girls even got home from school that day. It took me until the next day to tell my mom and sisters. When we got over the shock and were able to think straight again, Roger and I agreed that Christmas holiday would be a good time for the next surgery--it was just a few weeks away. So I went back to work for a few weeks, got everything wrapped up (literally) for Christmas, put meals in the freezer, and off to surgery I went again. Surgery went well but left me with a whisper of a voice for almost 3 months. Next in line was taking a radioactive pill and having a full body scan. The scan showed that there were no cancer cells anywhere else in my body and the radiation was attacking the remaining tissue that surrounds the thyroid, just as it should have been doing. Everything was completely normal, see you in 6 months and we'll take another radioactive pill and do another scan to make sure all the cancer is gone. Why do they keep talking to me like I have cancer??